Let’s talk sex: 5 ways to spice things up with your partner

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Factual Pursuit of Truth for Progress

 

Sex is an important aspect of life except you are asexual, which is fine. Sex or sexual activities can be used for a lot of things. The list is endless: from insecurity, security, pleasure, revenge, fall in love, fall out of love, stress relief, e.t.c.

Humans are naturally wired to sex, there is no manual to an intercourse, it just happens. It is human nature to see the gender you are attracted to and the next thing on your mind is how fast you can undress him/her.

The thought crosses into our minds and we shove it off almost immediately. Why? Because we are animals but not the lower ones.

There are several goals to having sex, what’s yours? Here are four reasons why humans have sex:

Health Reasons
Sex has been linked to several answers to many health related issues like stress and anxiety relief, and heart diseases. Sex is not a medication prescribed to you in hospitals but it will definitely be talked about, if you are of age.

Set-goals
Many have set-up goals as to why they have sex. To make babies, you need sex. Revenge and rebound, you need sex.

Physical
Curiosity, pleasure, exercise, attraction, and of course stress relief.

Insecurity
To boost self esteem, sense of duty to your spouse/partner, peer pressure or pressure from your partner.

What are the health benefits of sex?
Sex is as important to our health as the pleasure we derive from the act. It will blow your mind to find out that having regular sex might save you from frequent visits to your doctor, especially for infections like cold, or bacteria-caused diseases.

Sex is no medication but it can prevent or help with underlying diseases. However, staying protected is very important.

The two primary hormones released into the body during sex are Oxytoxin and Vasopressin. Oxytocin can be released during childbirth and breastfeeding as well. These hormones, especially Oxytocin, can induce anti-stress-like effects such as reduction of blood pressure and cortisol levels.

It increases pain thresholds, exerts an anxiolytic-like effect, and stimulates various types of positive social interaction. According to Wikipedia, it promotes growth and healing.Here are some other health benefits of sex;

  1. Boost Libido
    Regular sex can improve your sex life: the more you get into it, the better it becomes. As a woman, it helps to expand your walls, help with adequate lubrication during sex to avoid tears and after sex sores.
  2. Exercise/Cardio
    This will not replace your usual hiking or jogging but it is something at least. A simple missionary sex position can speed your heart race, now imagine wheelbarrow, cowgirl or doggy sex positions. Be ready for toned muscles, you won’t be competing with Big Brother Kemen though!
  3. Immune System
    According to a sex expert, Yvonne K. Fullbright, “Sexually active people take fewer sick days. It is assumed or confirmed that people who have regular sexual activities rarely fall sick, especially to infections.”
  4. Lowers Blood Pressure
    Research have shown that sex can reduce the first number on your blood pressure test known as systolic blood pressure.
  5. Mental Health
    Are you thinking of a better and easier way to relieve stress and anxiety? Then the answer is sex. It can take your mind off your stress triggers. It can soothe anxiety. A simple hug, cuddle or touching even without reaching orgasm can take that stress away to your next door neighbour. Do you know sex can help boost your self esteem? Try it!
  6. Reduces the risk of heart attack
    A good sex will keep your blood pressure in check, regulate your heart rate. It can also balance your estrogen and testosterone levels. Study shows that men who have sex at least twice a week are likely to have healthy hearts compared to those that rarely have sex.
  7. Conception
    Although there are some artificial ways to make babies these days, thanks to technology, the most accepted natural way to conceive is by having sex.

Some see sex as a point and kill act. You meet, undress and that’s it! Simple but is it worth it? Except you are hopping from one sexual partner to another, there are steps to follow to get a pleasurable sex.

There is no manual to this thing. The truth of this whole story is nobody has that time anyways. In most cases, we just want to see, hit and move on. But then, to have a pleasing memory to fall back to, no matter your goal to having sex with this person, you should follow some steps.5 necessary steps to follow for a memorable and enjoyable sex

Acceptance
The question you should ask yourself before any sex is ‘Am I ready?’ Are you ready for the aftermath? Are you ready to take both the pain and pleasure sex brings? Is your partner into you? You need to accept that you want this for whichever goal you set yourself up for.

Connect
Don’t just jump into it after accepting. Have you discussed sex in your previous conversations? Make yourself presentable. Get your best lingeries ready, wax if possible or keep them well trimmed and cleaned.

The SparksThe mistake many people make is skipping messages before the ‘thrust’. You should create sparks with whoever you want to have sex with. You are not at the warfront, you need to be able to pass messages without spilling words. Can you intercept messages? What are these sparks? Simple gestures like a bite on the lips, tease stares, or even touches.

There are several ways to tell your partner you want to get down with them. If he asks what you are wearing, he is not asking you so he could buy them, he wants to undress you. Likewise, if your woman walks up to you, sits or stands close to you, bites off your ears tenderly and walks away, you should know what it means. There is no tutorial for that.

Foreplay:

What’s a good sex without foreplay? The reason most men ejaculate quickly is because they weren’t ready. The same goes to women with dry vaginas. Or those who go dry after minutes into sex. You need to prepare yourself before the main intercourse. Foreplay is the sexual activity before intercourse.

What comes to your mind when you hear foreplays? Kissing? Yes, you are right but it doesn’t end there. It includes kissing and touching every inch of your partner’s body. Every inch! Why do you think a director makes actors spend more time touching, kissing in movie scenes than the actual sex? That’s because with or without you being present, the message gets to you.

Foreplay has a way to add to our sexual excitement, a buildup of joy and anticipation before intercourse. This, in turn, can help a great deal with the women, saves the stress of lubricants and sores. See! Just one simple act and you do not have to spend.

Main Dish
The intercourse, of course, is the final step. It binds partners together. You get to dictate your rhythm, it’s your call.

How do you spice things up even with all these steps? You can get bored doing the same thing over and over again. Also, sex with the same person can be tiring, less fun and thrilling with time. Do you feel like you no longer enjoy sex or have nothing idea/energy left? Talk to your therapist if this is your case.

Here are 5 ways to help spice things when you feel the need to
Acceptance
Before you spice your sex life up, you need to accept that there is a problem you need to fix. Something made you think of spicing things up. You are either bored or you feel you have a sense of duty as a wife or husband to please your spouse. Accept that there is a problem.

Not skipping the steps
It is very possible that the reason your sex life suck is because you don’t do these necessary things before having sex with your partner. Maybe it has always been the same old routine. Of course, it becomes boring.

Let your fantasies out
They say there is always a sex-starved beast in every human, they just don’t know it yet. Well, some of us do. Let your partner know your fantasies, if it is something they are comfortable with, then you go for it. You never can tell, it could be their hidden fantasies too.

Introduce sex toys
Sex toys are not made for singles alone. Start with something you are comfortable with. Explore, tease him in that lingerie, tease her with your preferable toy.

Talk
Get a therapist or sit your partner down. Communication is key in any type of relationship you find yourself in. If their sex is boring, tell them in the sweetest way. If it hurts, tell him or her. Don’t keep it to yourself else you’ll get tired at some point.

There are about 50 sex positions and styles to try or explore. Create styles yourself as long as you are comfortable. No one will crucify you for it. The most common sex positions include, missionary, face-off, doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, wheelbarrow, on-foot, cuddle-up, and pinball wizard.

Whichever one you choose, remember that sex should be enjoyed, not endured!

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