Grammy award winning singer and actress, Lady Gaga, has opened up on her experience as a rape victim by her music director.
She made this known on the premiere episode of Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry’s mental health ‘The Me You Can’t See’ documentary series.
The singer who was very emotional while narrating her ordeal revealed her music producer abused her when she was 19 and it lasted for months.
She revealed the producer had threatened to burn all her music if she didn’t comply with his abuse.
“They didn’t stop asking me, and then I just froze, and I just – I don’t even remember.
“I do not ever want to face that person again. And then I was sick for weeks and weeks after.
“And I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner, at my parent’s house, ’cause I was vomiting and sick, ’cause I had been being abused. I was locked away in a studio for months.”
Gaga said she suffered PTSD from the abuse and she didn’t see the full effect till some years later.
“First I felt full-on pain, then I went numb. I realized it was the same pain I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on the corner, at my parents’ house, because I was vomiting and sick. Because I was being abused. I was locked away in a studio for months.
“I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple years, I was not the same girl. Even if I have six brilliant months, all it takes is getting triggered once to feel bad.”
Gaga further revealed the abuse led to depression and suicidal thoughts going through her.
“And when I say I feel bad, I mean I want to cut. Think about dying. Wondering if I’m ever going to do it. I learned all the ways to pull myself out of it.
“What’s so interesting is the line I walk, feeling like I wanna cut myself and feeling like I don’t, are actually real close together.
“Everybody thinks it’s gotta be a straight line, that it’s like every other virus, that you get sick and then you get cured. It’s not like that. It’s just not like that. And actually, I think that traps people.
“I don’t tell this story for my own self-service, because, to be honest, it’s hard to tell.
“I feel a lot of shame about it. How do I explain to people that I have privilege, I’ve got money, I’ve got power, and I’m miserable? How do you do that? I’m not here to tell my story to you because I want anybody to cry for me. I’m good.”
She then urged victims of rape to speak up, instead of trying to bottle it up because it doesn’t end well.
“But open your heart up for somebody else. Because I’m telling you, I’ve been through it and people need help. So, that’s part of my healing, being able to talk to you.”
