Osinachi Nwachukwu, Daddy Freeze, who is next? Whose story are we going to hear tomorrow. Does domestic violence start from ‘I do’? Or it’s a cycle of constant battery since the day you say ‘Yes’ to a proposal and romantic advances from your lover.
In recent days, we might as well add domestic violence to the list of subjects taught in school or our daily anthem since it has become a deadly disease we desperately pray it doesn’t get to us, but is that the end to the race to push the disease out? No!
Domestic violence, another name for Intimate Partner violence or abuse, according to Wikipedia, is a type of violence that occurs in a domestic setting, between spouses, lovers and married couples.
It is not limited to married couples alone. “It can assume multiple forms, including physical, verbal, emotional, economic, religious, reproductive, or sexual abuse.
“It can range from subtle, coercive forms to marital rape and other violent physical abuse, such as choking, beating, female genital mutilation, and acid throwing that may result in disfigurement or death, and includes the use of technology.”
Domestic violence has become a trend these days that it has attracted help from the government and human right activists who take charges of cases.
Domestic Violence applies to both genders but why do we have bigger percentages of victims as women? It’s simple! The female gender is the easiest to vent your anger on, the one you return home to, the last person you see before you sleep and the first you see when you wake up. It’s like transferring your aggression to the nearest person available, which in most cases are your partners.
Does domestic violence depict sovereignty? Does it make you a man? Does your heart skip when you throw the first punch? Second? Or third? Does your adrenaline boil when you see bruises afterwards on the woman/man you claim to love?
The honest truth is domestic violence is not leaving anytime soon. Why? Because it’s deeply rooted in our society and system. An act to issue command and instill fear.
The recent case of Osinachi is another wake up call for the world, especially Nigerians, at least that was the case for some days before it was easily thrown away, to join the list of troubling cases of the Nation.
What are the influencing factors leading to domestic violence.
Society has been brought up in a one-way track. Obey your man or be ready for a penalty. The penalty is domestic violence. A normal African woman is expected to be submissive and allow the man to be the man, leader and the control system of the house. This can automatically damage the home especially when the woman is not allowed to have an opinion granted. It’s an agonizing and traumatic experience due to stereotypes.
The need to compete with the man in every aspect of life is terminally destroying marriages. Feminism has been abused to the point where respect, duty of a woman is thrown out of the window. This in turn makes a man who has been brought up to always issue command, lacks respect and understanding, result in beating, constant kicking, even till the point of death in many cases.
An insecure partner is a ticking bomb in any relationship they find themselves. A man who feels the need to obstruct his wife’s success due to his own insecurity is bound to resort into domestic violence.
Celebrities are not left out of this mess. Infact, recent sources have revealed most cases have celebrities topping the chart. Why? They are the eyes of the world, they are also prone to getting it right and that makes them the perfect candidate for domestic abuse.
Surprisingly, they are also topping the charts as the abusers themselves. “Who will believe you? I’m a top star”.
Here are some of the celebrities who unfortunately were involved in domestic violence scandals.
Formerly Fathia Balogun, a Nollywood Yoruba actress, was married to her colleague and the father of their children for a while. They seemed like the perfect couple until they separated based on constant fighting and cases of domestic violence. They finally confirmed their divorce in 2015.
The gospel singer and mother of four died on April 8, from prolonged injury allegedly caused by the unending beating she received from her husband, Peter Nwachuwku. The man has since been arrested, however, no words have surfaced from him since the death of his wife. Sources claimed Osinachi had gone through painful hardship at the hands of her husband, even her children. One of her older children revealed some horrid details of how their father had disciplined their mother.
The beautiful Nollywood actress was not excluded. Her first marriage to Dejo Richards had ended on grounds of domestic violence and abuse. The actress opened up in 2014 about her fate at the hands of her husband. She has since found love in her second marriage to Victor Coker, years after her divorce.
On Air Personality, Ifedayo Olarinde, had called his ex-wife, Opeyemi Olarinde, out in 2015 over domestic violence. He had shared pictures of his battered face, and body filled with bruises and blood.
Suzanne, former wife of Nollywood actor, Emeka Ike, had accused the actor of domestic abuse all through their 17 years of marriage. They filed for divorce in 2015. Although the actor claimed they had a peaceful marriage, their marriage was dissolved in court.
Nollywood Yoruba actress, Mercy Aigne, while married to her first husband, Lanre Gentry, had accused him of domestic violence. According to Mercy, Gentry had turned it into a constant exercise to beat her up, giving her bruises only for him to control the damage by sending relatives to her to plead on his behalf. Mercy accused Gentry of having anger problems. She said the domestic violence doesn’t end with her but with whoever stays with her, which includes her househelp.
She had her last when she reported to have sustained a head fracture due to the beating. An accusation that Gentry denied. They became separated for a long time till Gentry married his new wife last year and Mercy did the same this year.
Another actress is Tonto Dikeh. She was married to businessman and philanthropist, Olakunle Churchill for less than two years. According to her, she could no longer deal with the battery she experienced from her husband so she filed for divorce. Tonto took to her social media accounts to post pictures of a part of her body covered in bruises and she claimed to have gotten that from domestic violence. However, Churchill denied the allegations stating that he is well trained and wouldn’t resort to beating a woman.
Nollywood actress, Georgina Onuoha was married to Dr C Igwegbe, a marriage that had lasted for 10 years. The Anambra born model stated that she suffered domestic abuse from her husband. Her marriage was dissolved in 2012.
Nollywood Yoruba actress, Foluke Daramola was formerly married to Babatunde Sobowale in 2005 and the marriage had ended three years in 2008. Babatunde was allegedly beating Foluke frequently leading to their divorce. She has since married her latest husband, Kayode Salako.
Precious was the wife of Nigerian rapper, 2Shotz, who had revealed in a leaked chat about a series of abuses she went through while married to the rapper.
Actress who had dated 2Shotz in the past also made the revelation about the rapper. Beverly accused 2Shotz of domestic violence. Precious had denied this when she was just a newly bride to 2shotz.
Another actress was Chika Ike, who had shocked the world when she revealed she had been a victim of constant domestic violence from her husband, an act that had cost them their unborn child who was miscarried. She was married to Tony Eberibi.
Katherine, former wife of popular ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’ host, Frank Edoho, had ended things in a messy way. Katherine accused Frank of having anger and superior traits in the house. According to her, she couldn’t make a decision in the house because of her overbearing husband who snaps at every given opportunity.
The singer and mother of three was formerly married to Nollywood actor, Prince Eke. Their marriage had ended after six years of marriage, producing three beautiful children. Muma Gee stated that Prince often beats her to satisfy himself. She shared pictures of bruises on social media and called for divorce.
Beautiful singer, Tiwa Savage, in an interview had revealed she ended her marriage to Teebillz over infidelity, drug possession and domestic violence. She claimed the father of her child had been beating her before and after marriage and she had her fill.
Former wife of ex-Aviation minister, Femi Fani-Kayode, had called her ex-husband out for his constant abuse. She revealed she received beating even when she was pregnant with her first child. She made this known in an interview with Chude Jideonwo some months back.
Although domestic violence is still deeply rooted. There should always be a way around it, even cancers require chemotherapy right? The best solution is RUN! But can you always run when you see the signs? Yes! Should you wait after the first slap? No!! Domestic violence doesn’t always start all of a sudden, abusers show undeniable signs just weeks into the relationship.
Another way you can help yourself if you find yourself in situations like this is seek for the right sources to help you leave. There are no two ways about it. He doesn’t see reasons behind his first slap, he wouldn’t see reasons when you are sharing mansions with termites 6 fts down.
There are human activists around the world ready to help. Domestic violence is a violation of rights and the government is against it. Think of your life first and not the society. That man or woman will replace you when you are gone.
The Nigerian government has taken legal proceedings to prosecute men who abuse women in several states, you should take advantage of that. Stop living hell on Earth especially when you are still unsure where you will end up. Heaven or hell, it’s either of the two. Be wise! The world will only talk about your failed marriage for a while but you should be alive and well to prove them wrong.